Posts Tagged ‘playing hide the kielbasa with Cmdr Taco’

eSarcasm Seeks Social Media Slut

August 12, 2009

JR and Dan are so busy cranking out award-winning snarky content and schmoozing the crème 2.0 de la crème 2.0 that they simply don’t have time to build up their social media networks. So they’ve decided to outsource.

We’ve just posted the following position to our internal job board, and thought we’d open it up to our thousands hundreds 17 loyal readers:

Position: Social Media Slut

eSarcasm seeks highly motivated individual with good personal grooming, flexible morals, and a strong stomach to raise the site’s profile in the social media community. We’re looking for highly-motivated self starters who are willing to reach out and touch (and we do mean touch) moderators at Slashdot, Digg, TechMeme, Fark, StumbleUpon, and other leading community sites in exchange for favorable rankings. Must be willing to waive all rights to Internet sex videos, real or threatened, produced doing the term of the work engagement.

Position may also involve contact of an erotic but non-prosecutable nature with members of the communities on Digg, i-am-bored, eBaum’s World, and other sites run by the Internet’s Teen Mafia. Pour spelling, Cr3aTiV3 capitalization and the ability to compose messages entirely in Sexting Acronyms is a plus.

Please email a copy of your resume, drivers license and recent STD screens to You may also snail mail copies to us at our lavish corporate offices, though we promise not to take you very seriously:

eSarcasm, LLC
4320 Deerwood Lake Parkway, Suite 423
Jacksonville, FL 32216

eSarcasm is also seeking to fill several other open positions, including rodeo clown, human shield, and Guy Who Walks Around All Day Saying ‘This Job Sucks Ass’. See “We’re Hiring!” below.