Posts Tagged ‘life-changing technology’!

November 22, 2010

O to the M to the G, dude: eSarcasm, The Web That Always Sneaks Out Before You Wake Up In The Morning ™, has just revolutionized the Internet. Again.

eSarcasm is aroused to announce the debut of its magical new URL shortener, Starting right…now, will change the way millions thousands hundreds dozens of users share snarky geek humor across the Interwebbular Plateaus.

How will it work, you ask? Well, pretty much like every other URL shortener out there. But instead of something drab like “” or “,” it’ll say “” — and people think that’s kinda neat.

“That’s kinda neat,” said some guy we made up in order to prove our aforementioned point. rolled out in a limited beta late last week and is now fully operational. Anytime you share a link from one of eSarcasm’s convenient in-site Twitter buttons, the interface will automatically deploy. Like some sort of really cool rocket on a futuristic spaceship. Even The Wall Street Journal‘s Walt Mossberg agrees.

“I agree,” Walt Mossberg remarked.*

Effective immediately, all links sent out by eSarcasm’s generously girthed Twitter account will also feature the new URL shortening experience.

“This is an enormous step forward for the dissemination of sarcastic material,” said eSarcasm Chair Dan Tynan.

“You said ‘semination,'” added eSarcasm Sofa JR Raphael.

Tynan and Raphael admit that wasn’t their first choice for a URL shortening platform —,, and were unfortunately already taken — but they only admit that because we gave them lots of liquor and subjected them to 20 minutes of intensive tickling. Otherwise, they’d totally deny it and insist that was always the only option.

* Full disclosure: Walt Mossberg was not actually talking about the URL shortener when he made that remark.

eSarcasm Unveils New Life-Changing Widgets

December 21, 2009

Christmas is coming early* for readers of eSarcasm, the Web Site Most Likely to Get Drunk and Make Inappropriate Advances at the Office Holiday Party ™. eSarcasm officially launched a new line of customizable widgets on Monday, bringing its critically acclaimed** geek humor to the entire InterWebbial Galaxy.

What are these so-called “widgets,” you may be wondering? They’re dapper little boxes, as seen at right, that deliver piping hot*** eSarcasm content to your very own blog, Web site, or Facebook profile. All you have to do is go here and follow the easy instructions to copy the code. After a couple of quick clicks, you’ll have your very own always-updated version of eSarcasm right on your personal page or profile.

“Genius can only be contained for so long,” says eSarcasm Chief Of Operational Content Handling (COOCH) JR Raphael. “We figured it was time to scatter our seeds of brilliance onto the sea of faces that is the World Wide Web.”

The eSarcasm Widget is cost-free, ad-free, and even erectile-dysfunction-free. Plus, if you don’t like the way it looks, you can customize it to your heart’s content with our simple customization tools. There’s really no valid reason you shouldn’t be running to install one on your blog and/or Facebook profile right now.

“It seems like we should have a second quote here, but there’s not much more to add,” notes eSarcasm President Of Opportune Notions (POON) Dan Tynan. “Can I go to lunch?”

Learn more and get your own eSarcasm widget at the Official eSarcasm Widget Page.

*Kwanzaa is also coming early; our apologies to Hanukkah revelers for being slightly tardy. eSarcasm is an equal-opportunity life-changing organization.

**eSarcasm LLC interprets the present lack of death threats as “critical acclamation.”

***Temperature of eSarcasm content not guaranteed. When piping hot, however, please use caution. Injury and/or disfigurement may occur.