Sometimes When We Touch….


It’s true what you hear. In the wacky world of Web 2.0 startups, it’s one big cocktail party. Everybody knows everybody. Here at eSarcasm, we are on a first-name basis with Biz, Evan, Kevin, Max, Jason, Jonathon, Nick, Eric, Larry, Sergey, John, Om, Robert, Guy, David, Chad, Henry, Chris, Marissa, Matt, Mark, Mark, Marc, Marc, and Mark.

One time Zuckerberg let us touch his Chinos. Another time Michael Arrington almost returned one of our calls. (It was his name on the Caller ID, but there was just a lot of grunting and swearing on the other end — we think it may have been a pocket call.)

It’s not a big deal for us to run into each other at some fabulous party or to do lunch at a four-star restaurant. Sometimes the conversations are casual. Sometimes it’s strictly business. Mostly it’s somewhere in between.

So, yes, it’s true we did meet and have lunch at Google with a couple of guys from their M&A division. I don’t remember their names (frankly, all those Google people look alike to me) but they had very stylish eyewear and were really really smart. And yes, the subject of an acquisition did come up.

Unfortunately, just when we started to talk numbers, JR had an allergic reaction to the entree (grilled manatee with a truffle reduction sauce over a bed of betel-nut-infused couscous) and had to run off to the Googletorium to purge.

And though Google’s initial offer was tempting, it wasn’t nearly enough to sway us from our mission. This is what I told them at the time:

We’ve got big plans for eSarcasm, and no intention of selling to anyone at any price at this time. We plan to do for digital sarcasm what Google Image Search has done for porn — make it freely available to minors and others whose morals are easily warped.

Because that’s just the way we roll.


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4 Responses to “Sometimes When We Touch….”

  1. Google in Talks to Acquire eSarcasm Says:

    […] In an eSarcasm corporate blog entry titled “Sometimes when we touch…,” Tynan denied rumors of a Google acquisition, saying the two companies were merely good friends, […]

  2. eSarcasm Seeks Social Media Slut « eSarcasmBlog Says:

    […] Media Slut By snarkydan JR and Dan are so busy cranking out award-winning snarky content and schmoozing the crème 2.0 de la crème 2.0 that they simply don’t have time to build up their social media networks. So they’ve […]

  3. Breaking: Google in Discussions to Acquire eSarcasm for $50 or More Says:

    […] The two companies nearly reached an agreement earlier this year. However, talks collapsed after eSarcasm co-co-founder JR Raphael nearly perished in a food poisoning incident at the Googleteria. […]

  4. Looking Back at 2009: The Highs, The Lows, & The Marissa « eSarcasmBlog Says:

    […] year eSarcasm was not acquired by Google, despite being in late-stage negotiations with them on numerous occasions. We hope to continue to not be acquired by them, though we’re still waiting for Marissa Mayer […]

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