eSarcasm Announces Plans for World Wide Web Advertising Domination

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It was a momentous weekend. Just six scant weeks after its smashing debut, eSarcasm – The Saucy Little Site That Goes Great With Meat or Fish ™ — began serving up banners to an advertising-starved public.

Of course, that meant making a few key decisions. Which advertisers would be worthy of carrying the banner for eSarcasm? We decided to pick only the finest. Not just any under-the-counter vendor of fake pharmaceuticals, but those that offer free shipping and 24-7 customer service. Not just any penis enlargement pills, but the most fully engorged throbbingly tumescent ones. (Also: Did you know you could meet Hot Single Girls in Your Area just by clicking on an ad? This was a revelation to us.)

We also elected to reject those pop up-ads that flash on and off in psychedelic colors, mostly because viewing them automatically sends JR into an epileptic fit. He’s already bitten through two of DT’s wallets and a cell phone, and enough’s enough.

Within its first hour, the site already generated revenue of $0.24. At this rate, eSarcasm will achieve a $1 billion revenue rate by year 477340 A.C.E., which is perfectly in line with our business projections (as well as the Book of Revelations and chapters 3 through 7 of The Joy of Sex).

We hope you’ll click early and often.

Also, we updated our privacy policy accordingly. You have just been officially notified. Don’t come crying to us later when you discover Doubleclick cookies on your hard drive.

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2 Responses to “eSarcasm Announces Plans for World Wide Web Advertising Domination”

  1. Google Decides ‘Screw It, Let’s Just Be Evil’ Says:

    [...] * Full disclosure: eSarcasm is also a Google whore. [...]

  2. Looking Back at 2009: The Highs, The Lows, & The Marissa « eSarcasmBlog Says:

    [...] We launched our first banner ads in September, which have already brought in more than $12.37 in click-through payments. We anticipate our [...]

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