It was a momentous weekend. Just six scant weeks after its smashing debut, eSarcasm – The Saucy Little Site That Goes Great With Meat or Fish ™ — began serving up banners to an advertising-starved public.
Of course, that meant making a few key decisions. Which advertisers would be worthy of carrying the banner for eSarcasm? We decided to pick only the finest. Not just any under-the-counter vendor of fake pharmaceuticals, but those that offer free shipping and 24-7 customer service. Not just any penis enlargement pills, but the most fully engorged throbbingly tumescent ones. (Also: Did you know you could meet Hot Single Girls in Your Area just by clicking on an ad? This was a revelation to us.)
We also elected to reject those pop up-ads that flash on and off in psychedelic colors, mostly because viewing them automatically sends JR into an epileptic fit. He’s already bitten through two of DT’s wallets and a cell phone, and enough’s enough.
Within its first hour, the site already generated revenue of $0.24. At this rate, eSarcasm will achieve a $1 billion revenue rate by year 477340 A.C.E., which is perfectly in line with our business projections (as well as the Book of Revelations and chapters 3 through 7 of The Joy of Sex).
We hope you’ll click early and often.